Reasons Why Time Out May Not Be Working for Your Child

There's a reason why so many parents use time outs—when it works; it extremely works. However, that doesn't mean it works anytime, even for those parents who see timeouts creating a difference in their kids' behaviour. The fact is that for a few families, timeouts merely might not be effective for their kids, or may fit for one kid but not his sibling. In different words, time out isn't a one-size-fits-all answer to correct kids' bad behaviour.

Some youngsters refuse to sit down in time out or spend the entire time screaming and crying and upset. Others might not care regarding sitting still and are happy playing in their area. Or your kid might come out of time out angrier than before and prepared to go right back into unhealthy behaviour mode. In boarding school in India, timeout is mandatory and kids get used to it as they understand its value.

Some Reasons Why Time-Out might not Be working For You right away

Your kid knows it's an empty threat.

You'll threaten time out for your kid; however, not follow through. Just like the boy who cried wolf, threatening to place your kid in timeout so not doing it or being wishy-washy and solely putting him in time out occasionally and backtracking once your child gets upset can dilute your effectiveness over time. Once your kid will learn something that needs a consequence to place him in time out right away and be consistent. (This goes for all kid discipline ways, not merely timeouts.)

Your kid is playing with toys in her area rather than thinking about her behaviour throughout the timeout.

And if you permit your kid to watch TV or play on her phone or a laptop or tablet, then it's not a timeout as much because it is time for fun.

You talk to your kid whereas he's in time out.

However, will your kid have the time and house to think about his bad behaviour and why he's in time out after you are talking to him the entire time? Time-out ought to be simply that—a break—and not the moment to scold your kid, talk about what he did wrong, over-explain why he's in time out, or have interaction with him in any approach. It ought to be an opportunity for your kid (and you) to settle down and for your child to require a break from whatever conflict or problem that led to the bad behaviour, redirect his energy, and think about what he should and should not have done. It's not a time for parents to speak to their kid, yell, or express frustration. You'll be able to discuss calmly what your kid did wrong and what he can do better the next time after timeout is over.

Your kid feels insecure in time out.

If your kid is screaming and upset concerning being in time out, she probably feels insecure. In a soothing voice, update her that you are just giving her time to be in a quiet place for her to settle down and think about what she did wrong. Reassure your kid that you love her and can talk to her after the timeout is over. With young kids, you'll need to sit nearby (but not have interaction with her) whereas she stays in time out.

The timeout is just too long.

For a 5-year-old, quarter-hour of timeout is just too long. As a general rule, keep timeouts shorter for younger youngsters. The quality, not quantity, is what counts: you would like your kid to be in a quiet place wherever he will admit what he did to urge himself in time out and what he can do the next time not to find yourself there again.

It's too entertaining. If you send your kid to her area wherever she can with happiness play along with her toys or put her before of a TV or offer her a tablet or laptop to play with, that's not time out. She wants a quiet, distraction-free area to admit her behaviour.

You're angry, yelling, or both when you tell her to go in time out.

If you're emotional after you put your kid in timeout, you'll send your kid the message that you are rejecting him rather than giving him a consequence as a result of his behaviour. Even as calmness will be infectious, thus will being upset and angry. To avoid a battle of wills and lots of tears and turmoil, you must inform your kid that you love him, however, that you won't accept his bad behaviour. Be calm and loving as you tell him that the time out may be a consequence of his behaviour which it's a time for quiet thinking, so he makes better selections the next time, not a penalisation as a result of you're angry.

This article is contributed by Ecole Globale International School.